Friends who sabotage, how do you deal with them?

So a "friend" of mine always tries to turns his friends against eachother. He studies politics and often uses techniques here and there he learns to talk trash about me when I confront him about his lies. So I used to live with him, but don't anymore. But I still work with him. Everytime I talk to somebody, he'll go to talk to them immediatly after, he's lied about me, tries to diss me (sometimes subtle, and sometime not so subtle) all the time. People who used to be really friendly with me, all of a sudden avoid me and act strange. This has happened to me in the past with two other friends. How do I deal with this kind of thing? I don't want my reputation among friends or coworkers ruined over this guys lies.

Friends who sabotage, how do you deal with them?scroll boxes for myspace

I feel your pain. Cutting him off will only bring on more manipulation.

Friends who sabotage, how do you deal with them?default myspace myspace.com

Cut him off. Hi, Bye, How are you... thats it.
get rid of them.

find positive people that contribute positive things to your life
After reading your situation carefully and evaluating all the possible ways for you to diplomatically handle this situation, I've come to the one solution that will solve your problem:

Punch him out.

.
DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH HIM! Expose him for what he is.
Question #1 Why would you want this person as a friend.

Question #2 Why would you want anyone who is willing to believe him as a friend?

I would consider that he is doing me a service by weeding out my falsefriends for me.

Be carefull who you call friend, you just may have to depend on them someday.
I would advise you to cut all ties with him, where possible- and if you hear of him saying anything else against you that is untrue and damaging, ask to speak to your superior(s) at work about the slander.

You would not be the only one who would be able to see through him, and I believe once you have brought him to the attention of your boss(es) at work, he will be watched more carefully. Nobody likes a troublemaker. Perhaps one of your friends who has been lied to about you would go to make the complaint with you, back you up.

He'll come unstuck eventually.They all do.They are never as clever as they like to believe and will eventually outsmart themselves.
First of all, this person is not and never will be ...your friend...

It sounds as if he is in competition with you over popularity in his mind...............turn the cards, if you have been through this before, don't walk away, don't get angry, just be yourself with confidence and smile a lot !!...(the people he is talking to about you are not all stupid.,..they can pick him for what he is up to)...next time it happens just wander up to them and say...Oh my gosh, is he at is again, he is so full of himself isnt he?......then continue on with your work as you normally do..if they can see you can just brush it off, they will too !!...stay cool and good luck..
talk to the boss , talk to the coworkers and expose him, or go find another job
First, I know it's hard not to, but don't stoop to his level. Stay true to yourself. If your friends can't see past his lies and obsession to turn people against one another, they're not your friends and they're not very smart. These kinds of people are who I call followers. You sound to me to NOT be part of a herd of sheep. He is an insecure person who, by turning friends against one another, feels more important and powerful by doing so. The "followers" are just stupid tag alongs. The next time he starts to put you down in front of others, subtle or not so subtle, I would just say to him "you know, it must really feel horrible to be so insecure." And leave it at that...nothing more. I have had experience with these types of people. They just don't know what else to do to feel good. At the end of the day, deep inside, they're very aware of loser they actually are.

To save your reputation, just stay away from these people as much as you can. Ever heard of the expression "out of sight, out of mind"? Well, the more you stay away from these people and the more you show that you don't care, the less you will become the topic of conversation. The topic of conversation will then switch to another "follower" until he/she decides that it's enough. This will keep happening until this a** has no more friends and no more respect.

Good luck!
look i may seemed to be two-faced person, but really this is how i usually deal with those s-holes, first just try to be nice with him(coz u may need him for some time, as he/she is ur friend) and after u really don't get any **** to do with him/her and have found one new good friends or more, and this is where ur show starts, attack them back, make them feel how u felt.

If this doesn't work for you, i have another one. Just when he's talking to the person u have just talked to, try to reveal the truth but in sarcastic yet convincing, u noe what i'm saying, he'll just like " oh damn"

Really those kind of shole mfker should have just vanish from this world
Tell him that you need to talk to him after work. Ask him to go out for a cup of coffee with you and talk to him about the situation. Tell him that this is hurting your work relationships and you need the job. Ask him why he is doing this especially since you had considered him a friend and had still wanted to continue the friendship(this is your lie) but it is hard to continue a friendship when he is treating you this way. See what he says and go from there.
The guy obviously has some serious issues with you meaning, he is jealous and resents you for some reason and here's an FYI: The guy is NOT a friend in any sense of the word. If you insist on remaining in such a toxic atmosphere I would strongly suggest taking him aside, telling him you are aware of his backstabbing and if he persists in his malicious gossip he gives you no choice but to go to HR and file a complaint against. him. You have a legal right to work without abuse or harassment and you can get him into very serious trouble if he refuses. Start documenting everything he does, dates times and what he says to people if you can find out what it is. Be professional, calm, firm and unwavering and he will either back off or get fired if the keeps up his verbal abuse and harassment. If the company does not follow through you can hire an attorney because workplace harassment is illegal.
It's one thing to talk about your friends behind their backs, lots of people do this, out of curiousity or concern. You yourself are talking about him behind his back by

posting this question.

But telling lies is another matter. I was going to write that he's not really your friend if he treats you this way. But you want to smooth things over? Hmmm. He sounds like he is either immature and enjoys the attention he gets by treating you this way, or he is insecure and putting you down makes him feel better about himself...or he's not really your friend. You already tried to talk to him and he denies everything. Not sure what else you can do. If he keeps this up, eventually, others will begin to see through him as the lying gossip that he is.

Concerning your other friends and co-workers: as lies come up, you can dispell them, or you can ignore them. Unfortunately, the more you protest, the more people will judge you. Just be yourself and your true friends will see what's what.
If you two are co-workers, I would consider speaking to his immediate supervisor. If all else fails, it might be time to make a move to another department.

To try and play his game isn't the best solution, it will probably backfire as he's been doing it longer, and if it doesn't people will probably see you as being someone just like him. Something you don't want.
He's no "friend" of yours.

This sort of behavior is a perfect example of harassment. Not all harassment is sexually based. ANY behavior which created an "uncomfortable" or "bad" work environment is harassment.

Doesn't your company have ANY policy with regards to harassment? It SHOULD. If not, it will find out very quickly that it should have.

Write up a WRITTEN report about this person and his behavior. BE SPECIFIC about the incidents and their effects on you and your other co-workers. Tell the management this is not good for business. Tell management that if something is not done to END this behavior, then (and use these words:) "I will be left with NO alternative than to seek legal advice as to what my next step should be."

BTW... a company CANNOT FIRE you NOR HARASS YOU for reporting harassment!!! If they do... find your nearest friendly neighborhood attorney... they will be SALIVATING at the door, waiting for you with DOLLAR SIGNS in their eyes!!!!

I might suggest you make a LOG of any/all incidents which have already happened, and maintain that log carefully and precisely... dates/times/exactly what was said/done... etc. If you have a pocket-sized TAPE RECORDER... then USE IT to RECORD this person's behavior. IT IS LEGAL to secretly tape in this situation, and it is the BEST EVIDENCE you can present to management, lawyers, and the courts.

Oh, and don't confront the jerk. He obviously hasn't learned anything in the past and he won't now. The harrassment laws also do NOT require YOU to confront your harrasser!!! But you MUST begin the process of reporting him to management, ASAP. Always be respectful and polite to the management and the company, THEY are not at fault for this, and they may not be aware this is happening, either.

GOOD LUCK! You have a good case on your hands!!! Stand your ground... don't let the ****** get away with it.

Have a polite day.
This person is "NOT" a friend.