Why can't I be friends with a married man?

We were friends before he was married. Before he got married he was in love with me for six years. I didn't feel the same way about him and he knew that I only saw him as a friend. He was okay with that and we stayed friends. I think about him all the time and I want to tell him how I feel. Why can't I still be his friend even if he is married? I think his wife doesn't like me because he told his wife that he once had feelings for me. I only want to be his friend. Although, I do think I missed out on someone that could have been perfect for me. We have a lot in common. I miss the attention that he once gave me. Now he know longer want to be friends with me and I think his wife has something to do with this. I think friends should be friends no matter what happens. I wouldn't tell him that I think I missed out on a relationship that he and I could of had. I just want it to be like it use to be. Is there something wrong with that?

Why can't I be friends with a married man?myspace co

I'm usually fairly torn on this type of issue.. but in all honesty, I think your friend is doing the right thing, by wanting to cut off the friendship. I know that is hard to hear, but you have to look at it from not only his side, but from his wife's side as well.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I really don't see how any good could come from a friendship between you two.

I mean, he is married and has a life with his wife now. No matter how close you two were before, you will never have that closeness again. That's the way it should be. A person's spouse should always come before any friends they have. If there is even the smallest possibility that his friendship with you could come between his marriage.. then he is doing the right thing by choosing to end it. He has to look out for his marriage, even if it means losing a friend here and there.

You say yourself that you think you may have missed out on the perfect guy for you, when you turned him down. That in itself says that it would not be a very healthy friendship, no matter how hard you tried to keep things platonic. You also say that you miss all the attention he used to give you. Well, I'm sorry but there is no good reason for any married man (no matter how good a friend he was) to be showering another woman with attention that way. I'm sure it is hard to accept, but he is over you.. and he has found someone to share his life with. He loves his wife and he is doing the right thing by wanting to let go of your friendship.

I don't mean to offend you in any way, and if I am.. I do apologize. But it really sounds like you are doing what many people do.. He was in love with you, and told you so. You rejected him, and said you only wanted to be friends. Now that he is married, you are starting to miss the way he treated you when he still had feelings for you. It doesn't sound like you miss the person, it sounds like you miss being the center of his world. He is married now, and his life no longer revolves around you.. as it shouldn't. If you really do care about him (whether it be as friends or otherwise) then you need to do the right thing, and let go of the friendship, if that's what he's wanting.

When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you get married.. then you will understand how and why friends are no longer a priority in life.

I wish you the best, but I really do think it would be best for you to just move on, and let the friendship go.

Why can't I be friends with a married man?myspace jokes myspace.com

Who cares if his wife has something to do with it! Wake up and smell the roses! In your entire question you answered yourself! He once had feelings for you and now you think you do to. So there's the problem. I definitely agree with his wife! YOU SHOULD NOT BE INVOLVED WITH HIM IN ANY WAY! Let him go and move on to someone else that you'll string along as a friend and then once you see they're taken you want what you can't have!!!
If he was in love with you and you "didn't feel the same way about him" then it doesn't really sound like you were friends at all. He probably just wised up (a little belated, but still) and realized his wife is more important than someone that obviously knew he had feelings for them and just led him along.
As past lovers, it wont work. Sooner or later you will have sex and where will it go from there? Unless you want to be a woman on the side.
You just asked this question in a different form. Can men and women really be friends..yes, of course...but not as they were when they were single. Why would a man want to fill his wife with insecurity by visiting or hanging with another woman? He already told you he was married and would not do that to his wife...he is a NICE guy. You have stated that suddenly you are interested in him. The advice stays the same. Find new friends..the world is full of them...leave this man alone, he is taken. And yes, there is something wrong with "that." You have intentions that go beyond friendship. You know it, we know it...so hang it up and move on.
Let him be and let his marriage alone. You miss the hold you had on him and the free attention. Now that you don't have his full attention you want it all. I wouldn't want my wife to be w/someone that is trying to get something going on her.

This friends bit is a total sham. You're trying to submarine their marriage. Don't be a homewrecker go find yourself a man that will love you and let this dude go.
That's simple, you don't want to piss off his wife or get his wife pissed at him. Married people marry for good reason, they need eachother. If you share time with another in any way it's like saying that you don't need them- Kind of like the perfect kid who never does anything wrong, the parents don't feel like parents until they have to shape the kid's evolution.
It isn't like it used to be he is no longer pining for you and showering you with the attention trying to convince you to give him a try... He has moved on found someone to love who loves him back...

Instead of thinking only of yourself .... I.E. "I miss the attention that he once gave me.", " I do think I missed out on someone that could have been perfect for me.", "We have a lot in common." and "I think about him all the time and I want to tell him how I feel." Think about him, for 6 years you had the oppurtunity to realize all these hings about him and only now are you hurt because he has moved on...

Sorry you lost your chance, he has chosen someone else, leave him alone and stop pining for what you spent 6 years throwing away...
Yes...something is wrong with wanting to cause your "friend" problems. Face it...it's NOT like it used to be and your friend doesn't want it to be. He loves HER! .. and you're not his friend. I'm happy for him after being used by you for so long.
still persisting?? get a life you are jealous of their love for each other it is so plain! their love has nothing to do with you, stop making yourself seem so important. you are old news to him.
You have contradicting ideas in your post.

Yes, men and women can be friends. Even if one is married and the other isn't. However with the details you gave you eventually would not just want to be friends with him because you acknowledge that he is the one that got away. Eventually you would try to make your friendship into more than that. He knows it, his wife knows it, your the only one who is in denial.

Let go of this friendship, and be happy for him that he is happy. If you wish you may add THEM to your Christmas card list, and send a yearly "how is it going" letter with the card.
One of the "Great truths" in this world is that men and women can't be friends unless one or both are interested in more than just friendship. It sounds harsh but you have to see that the time, energy, and Resources that it takes to court a mate is wasted by dead end roads called "Friendship". Most men will stay friends with a women as long as they think they have a shot. And many women will use these men for there time, energy and resources knowing full well that he hasn't got a shot in hell at going further. (unless your first choice man falls through)

At some point some of these men will pull there head out of the sand and find someone that will truly care about them and not just keep them as a "spare" or a" just in case guy."

( a friend).

His new wife is right to assume that you are a threat. She know that you miss your safety net. You did NOT treat him well. Don't fool yourself into believing that the reason he stopped being your friend is she doesn't let him. Once a man is treated with respect by a woman who sees him through the lenses of love, he will easily see the way that you were using him for your own selfish needs. He's gone. You should concider other peoples feelings in the future.
LEAVE HIM ALONE.

You had your chance.
you think about him all the time?I bet he doesn't. I beleive that exes can be friends, but not always. Out of sight; out of mind. Grab a box of kleenex, a bucket of ice cream, and get your cry on because as for right now this relationship, friendship at best, is over...Sorry for being so blunt.
It's nothing wrong with being friends with married man just as long as your friends with the wife as well. and you know why you can't be friends with this man. Is because you have feelings for this man. let him go babe....i kno its hard...but u can do it
Sounds like you had your chance. Games were played. Now that he's unavailable you want him. You may want to consider counseling if you have a history of choosing unavailable men. It won't be like it used to be because he has a wife now. Let it go.
Just dont bother him, he married and had move on.
You still should be friends with him but maybe you need to talk with his wife and tell her your not trying to ruin their marriage but just trying to be friends with him